A Moment of Reflection

Posted On June 30, 2012

Filed under Uncategorized

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You know, I find myself laughing at myself this afternoon.  Those of you who have followed me for a while may remember my original blog, and the name it had.  My very first blog outside of Myspace was headed with the moniker “Sanity is Overrated.”  I was very young when I started that one, in my early 20s.  Yet today, I am amused at how prophetic that has been.

We have all been in situations, I am sure, where things change in our lives and something you may say to someone today may differ widely from something you said to someone six months ago.  I will freely and readily admit that things seem to change very frequently, and since I try to be as open and honest as possible,  a lot of times, the changes can end up being very public.

I have learned something about myself.  I have to be more conscious of what I am saying and how I am saying it.  I will never be perfect.  I am the way that the controller of the universe wanted me to be, and there is a reason for everything.

Who I am at times is an extremely socially awkward young woman who does not possess the ability to be intentionally dishonest.  I also do not possess the ability to be as tactful as I should be, although this is something I am working on and is a lot better than it was even six months ago.

People around me have seen the growth and the changes within me and that means a lot to me.  Every day is a step on the journey to becoming the woman I want to be, but that is between me and the God that I choose to believe in.  I have always considered myself an open book and I probably share too much with those I choose to have around me, and I do need to work on that now.  I shall add that to my list of character flaws that I need to address.

Please, and this goes out to everyone, if you feel as though something I have said recently contradicts something I had said in the past, please contact me.  I would love to clear the air so that you understand why things may seem inconsistent or dishonest.

I try to be as kind as possible whenever possible and I try very hard to live the life I would like my children to emulate.  I am not perfect, far from it, but I now know who I am, what I need and want to accomplish, and what roads I need to take to get there.  I am who I am for a reason.  Warts, scars, and ugly moles notwithstanding.

My health issues are a daily component in my life, and sometimes I get so wrapped up in that that other things fall by the wayside, but I am trying and improving with that on a daily basis.  I do not feel that I will ever “arrive.”  Life is a journey with no real end.  It is all a learning process.  It is what we do with the lessons we are given that is the true measure of a man (or woman).  With that, I shall bid you all good day.  I have a home I need to help straighten up, as I contributed to the mess it is in right now, and then I am going to spend some time with my children and try to get some relaxation in so that I can start my day over again.  I have gotten far too little sleep and have far too much in front of me to accomplish in this 24 hours.


2 Responses to “A Moment of Reflection”

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