Really Having to Think and Reconsider Here


I have been a work-at-home medical transcriptionist since around the time of 9/11.  Basically, I have done this my entire adult life, and have no idea what else I would do for money if the need were to be there.  So, this is what I do and this is who I am and I have come to accept that.  I have always been very good at what I do and never had a problem making enough money.  Until now.  I feel like every day is a trial in patience, like I am always doing something wrong, and that I just don’t feel like I “fit” any more.  I really have no idea what I am doing wrong.  I feel as though no matter how hard I try, I just make absolutely no headway.

I feel like I need a break.  I used to love doing this work.  I still love the company I work for, but I feel like I have reached a breaking point and am questioning everything I do.  I wish we didn’t need the money so bad.  I wish this was not the only thing we had, because on top of the other feelings, I feel an intense guilt.  I work very hard, and just never feel like I am going to get ahead.

I sat down and realized what my dream situation would be.  If money were not a concern, I would read.  I would read all of the time.  I would write my reviews on my review blog.  I would stop worrying about things.  I would enjoy the time I have with my family because I could actually BE with my family, instead of on a computer with headphones in my ears all the time.

I figured out that it would take a household income of about 50,000 to 75,000 dollars to make that realistic, and then realized that, with the opportunity on the horizon for my husband, it might actually be a reality.  So, maybe in 2-3 years I can “retire.”  I would still work part time, but it would be much less stress.  I could work at what I really want to do and what I really enjoy.

And even better, I could write!  I have had a novel sitting in a file that I have been working on for YEARS.  I don’t know if I will ever get it done at the rate I am going.

Do any of you who are MTs ever feel like this?  Is this burnout? Is it just a funk I am in?  If it is a funk, what will it take for it to end?  It has been like this for far too long already.  I just do not know what to do anymore.

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One Response to “Really Having to Think and Reconsider Here”

  1. Ann

    Awww Lisa. Maybe it is just not the “right fit” for you. I have come to realize this week that I have been in a complete funk myself with no modivation. But my new job changed that. I see prospects of making $ again. I just dont think VR is for everyone. Yes, it the way the industry is going and sadly that means we make peanuts but there are still ST jobs out there.

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