Really Having to Think and Reconsider Here

I have been a work-at-home medical transcriptionist since around the time of 9/11.  Basically, I have done this my entire adult life, and have no idea what else I would do for money if the need were to be there.  So, this is what I do and this is who I am and I have come to accept that.  I have always been very good at what I do and never had a problem making enough money.  Until now.  I feel like every day is a trial in patience, like I am always doing something wrong, and that I just don’t feel like I “fit” any more.  I really have no idea what I am doing wrong.  I feel as though no matter how hard I try, I just make absolutely no headway.

I feel like I need a break.  I used to love doing this work.  I still love the company I work for, but I feel like I have reached a breaking point and am questioning everything I do.  I wish we didn’t need the money so bad.  I wish this was not the only thing we had, because on top of the other feelings, I feel an intense guilt.  I work very hard, and just never feel like I am going to get ahead.

I sat down and realized what my dream situation would be.  If money were not a concern, I would read.  I would read all of the time.  I would write my reviews on my review blog.  I would stop worrying about things.  I would enjoy the time I have with my family because I could actually BE with my family, instead of on a computer with headphones in my ears all the time.

I figured out that it would take a household income of about 50,000 to 75,000 dollars to make that realistic, and then realized that, with the opportunity on the horizon for my husband, it might actually be a reality.  So, maybe in 2-3 years I can “retire.”  I would still work part time, but it would be much less stress.  I could work at what I really want to do and what I really enjoy.

And even better, I could write!  I have had a novel sitting in a file that I have been working on for YEARS.  I don’t know if I will ever get it done at the rate I am going.

Do any of you who are MTs ever feel like this?  Is this burnout? Is it just a funk I am in?  If it is a funk, what will it take for it to end?  It has been like this for far too long already.  I just do not know what to do anymore.


One Response to “Really Having to Think and Reconsider Here”

  1. Ann

    Awww Lisa. Maybe it is just not the “right fit” for you. I have come to realize this week that I have been in a complete funk myself with no modivation. But my new job changed that. I see prospects of making $ again. I just dont think VR is for everyone. Yes, it the way the industry is going and sadly that means we make peanuts but there are still ST jobs out there.

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